“Pain & love… Life & Sin”

I wondered by the days that had past… Why did I love such a thing? With such stupidity, poppycock, & all rubbish? Yet my heart was trapped in his net! What bait did he set upon my heart? That he managed to nab it…? Was it not other things that made me gravel upon his feet & make me beg…? His warm & gentle lips, so gentle, as if he were to trap me again…! How could it be? I knew not that the last man upon my list was thy who nailed me into the depths of his arms, the long, loving arms… I know I could escape this, but yet, a wound would be left if I tried to, a deep cut in my heart that would make me suffocate & long for him… As if his action was a relief to my ache, to my [pain, & to my sufferings… Why, oh why does this happen? & yet, I am not certain of what love he brings to me… Is this what I want? That one day I wake up in his arms w/ a smile on his face! Only one would be foolish to expect true feelings of a man you least fall upon… Yet, what can I do? If I escape the net that would make me exaggerate more pain in my heart… I would surely die & my heart would soon turn into stone, & I as well, would burn into ashes for ashes turn into dust… Am I to trust this foolish man? Is he worth of my love? Is he not the hunter of my weary soul that dashes throughout the forest which will soon become of his trophy? Am I free to love this foolish man?
Yet, it took long for me to decide, & until now I am fool of questions, reclining on the acts I will be doing…! Should I love thee w/ all my heart? Or should I not? What is right? Yet, what is wrong? Should I prolong my ache, should not my wound be healed…? Finally, the moment of wisdom has struck m! I will fight, even if I suffer a hundred cuts caused by the bloody war of my heart! I rush to the chapel (the place where we made a promise) as the bells cling from above… my heart dreads as the organ was playing a tune for weddings… when I saw you, I felt like I was dead, together w/ all my dreams that was scattered… A lifeless body that was still shedding tears, tears that meant a thousand cries of agony… Oh yes, I had seen you wearing your tux w/ a woman in her wedding gown… then, I realized everything… That you were just impatient… As I slowly fell down my knees, so as my heart, sinking, sinking down the bottomless lagoon, slowly falling w/ my pride, my dignity, my love, & myself… Why is life like this? She is so unfair! Tis’ the time that I make my daring move & tis’ the time that struck my heart w/ Shakespeare’s dagger… The time that I felt to fall down w/ so much agony inside… Shall I stop this ceremony? & heal my wound by opposing! Or let go of my forever longings, my only happiness that took away the pain of the wounds that he himself has caused me… Shall I do it…? Yes, I will forget my joy… & forever keep the burning cries of thousands of pains, aches, agonies, & tears…
This Is The Story of My Pain & My Love…
My Life & My Only Sin